You may have noticed that my blog disappeared for a few months. The truth is, I just needed a break. I've probably deleted my Facebook a hundred times but then I have things to promote and want to keep up with everyone so that never lasts long. What's surprising to me is how many people actually still read this thing and came to me, wondering where the hell it went. So, here it is. An update. I've been in Houston managing and bartending at different venues downtown. I think a part of me just really needed to get away and do some soul searching after I lost my father and suffered through a few other unfortunate events that I am not even going to go into. I was told that I would lose my soul working downtown. I gather I've lost a lot more than my soul but I was already on my way there long before I decided to make my move. Houston, Texas is the 4th biggest city in America. It's not like I lived far away to begin with but the place is so big, it's just another country and everything is so different. Everyone makes fun of my accent and asks me if my parents are inbreeds. My move hasn't been as pleasant as I planned. First of all, you don't know heat until you've experienced Houston in the Summer. Then there's the humidity. It's just awful. It's a gritty city with a ridiculous skyline and it's always fucking raining. It floods easily. However, it's not just an urban wasteland. I love Houston. There are just as many good things as bad. Sure, the homeless suck. I've become naive and let people take advantage of me and at times I feel I just do not belong here and cannot take it anymore but I have also made some incredible friendships and I love what I do for a living. The city lights really are spectacular and this is the most diverse city in America with a great selection of food.
I've been in a very dark place and I no longer know how to snap out of it. Everyone looks at my pictures and my opportunities and thinks I have it made or something when I really couldn't be more miserable with myself and my surroundings. People have no idea how I feel and believe me when I say, my life is not glamorous and you do not want to feel this way. I wish I could have a normal, boring life like the people in my home town but I had a hard time adjusting. I'm having a hard enough time adjusting to day shifts behind the bar. My body is confused. I've become completely delirious. I try not to cry and make excuses or play the victim but everything I have been through, all of my pain and suffering has me jaded and in a trance. I've had a few moments where I called friends crying, "I want to go home," and they would follow up with, "Rebekah, just come home!" But I haven't given up and I am still doing my thing and I have reunited with most of my Indie film crew. The ones worth keeping in my life anyway. My kids don't seem to be effected by it and I like to think it will be a good change but I am not for certain what is right anymore. Here are some pictures…
|We tried to recreate the Kill Bill poster but it didn't work out as planned|
|First time back in my old dance company studio in YEARS! What a treat that was.|
I've taken a break from TV documentaries and our film due to exhaustion and honestly just not having enough time. Not sure where the passion went. BUT you can check me out in the new VHS documentary, VHS Lives: A Shlockumentary. Check out the IMDB for more details. It was nice to share my collection and thoughts on VHS collecting. I still have my VHS column for Geek Juice. The latest article I wrote focuses on the Women in Prison genre. Next up is a list of rare, hard to find films because I am tired of seeing all the same films on everyone's lists when there's so much out there that no one has heard of.
I'm still doing theater when I can. Next up, one of my favorite musicals of all time, XANADU! I cannot wait to perform on stage with my theater homies AND the director of Cabaret is back for the choreography! Too exciting. Hope you guys can make it to the show. Xanadu was a cheesy 80s musical starring Olivia Newton-John and it's a guilty pleasure.
Got some new fan paintings in by Billie and Berk! Much love.
|This is a painting of me showing my love for The Night Porter. The photo he was given of me was taken back when I had much bigger boobs after having my son.|
I've become obsessed with snakes and lizards and will have a photoshoot in the near future where I am covered in snakes. Below are photos of my babies and friend's babies...
|This is LEMMY!|
|Ninja and Tris|
|Ninja is my other baby|
|Gorgeous Black Mamba|
I'll try to update on here more and forgive whatever typos or errors you see on here for now because it's almost 6am and I don't feel like proofing.